This too shall pass – The Art of Unattachment

To be unattached means to not claim anything as your own or be attached to anything. To be unattached means to truly love everything for what it is, appreciate it, but not suffocate, cling to it, try to tweak, change, or adjust it. To be unattached means regardless of the outcome, you acted out of love and good intentions and are okay with whatever will be. 

To be unattached is not to be indifferent. It does not mean we do not care. Quite the opposite, because we care so much we know that we can not control the things we love. 

I was recently broken up with out of nowhere (that’s how it seemed anyway). Things in my life were going well, I had a solid group of loving people around me and we were all growing together – or so it seemed. But, from what I’ve gathered, underneath we were all suffering to be number one, impress each other and shine the brightest. When you get a handful of people together who are all used to being the center of attention, things can get messy.

Regardless, I had truly reached a point of trust with everyone I was surrounding myself with and felt good about my new relationships that were blooming. So to my surprise, behind my back (or rather, right in front of my face) something else was developing. My boyfriend and one of our “friends” had developed feelings for each other. In an innocent way (so it’s been explained a million times) feelings started to change. Yet, we all went on spending all of our time together, trying to all shine super bright, having fun and “feeling” like everything was okay. 

I’m not sure when it was, and I don’t care, but something happened (I don’t know what)… something changed. After going to the movies (where he sat in between the both of us) I found myself sitting in his car confused and being ambiguously broken up with because “things didn’t feel right”. We then talked again a few days later but it didn’t help all of the things I was trying to process. Because even though I was told I must be okay with certain friendships/business partnerships and trust them, I was deceived and hurt very badly in the end. 

This is why practicing unattachment is so important. Overtime people change and feelings for people change. Nothing last forever. The feelings other people have for each other were out of my control and I lost sight of that. I forgot to practice unattachment. I was in shock when I got dumped. Over the months, I chose to not see the things I didn’t want to see. (isn’t retrospect so much fun, haha!) 

Through this experience I have found myself pouring all of the energy from that mess into myself and have truly felt alive, on fire, passionate, non stop. So, I’m thankful. I’m thankful this has allowed me to realize I don’t want anyone or anything like this situation in my life. I choose daily to surround myself with love, positivity, people who strive to be of service to the world and people who give, rather than constantly take – and to also hold myself to the highest of standards that I hold the people around me to. 

So a few lessons here:

  • Friendship takes TIME! Lots of time. Just because you hit it off with someone does NOT mean you know them or their intentions.
  • Loving someone doesn’t make them love you. But, do not be afraid of giving someone your all in fear of them hurting you. 
  • Regardless of who comes in and out of your life, you are your ultimate source of love and happiness. No one and nothing can take that away. 
  • Shine bright in everything you do and always know your worth. 
  • And, as soon as something feels off, listen to your intuition. You feel “off feelings” for a reason 

Love your sadness as much as you love your happiness, because it will always come and it will always go. 

 

So much love,

Hailey