let go of expectations

We’re constantly trying to find something wrong – with a relationship, a situation, a person, or a scenario – so we can fight or run, compare or be scared.

But we rarely acknowledge that there’s so much beauty in nothing being wrong. The fact that we overanalyze so much in our lives causes us to drive ourselves crazy without even being aware of it. We can torture ourselves by trying to nitpick everything and it’s frustrating. I’ve come to realize that every day there’s less to complain about the harder this gets to remember. When life is easy, we unintentionally look for the “what’s wrong with this too good to be true thing”.

As humans we cling to habits – negativity and nitpicking are among those habits. We create strange expectations in our heads of how someone should act, feel, love, be, show up or be there for us. And then, when they don’t meet our strange criteria we get mad at them. Everything comes crashing down because they “Should do this” “Should act like _______”, because that’s just how it’s supposed to be, right? But, it’s not. We don’t get to decide how other people act and feel toward us. WE DON’T GET TO DECIDE HOW OTHER PEOPLE ACT AND FEEL. Got it?

I see so many people not loving the people around them for who they are, but forming molds of who they think that person should be. Yes, I’m definitely guilty of this. It’s like when someone doesn’t meet your expectations you immediately get mad and frustrated and upset at them. But they aren’t doing anything wrong. They are just being them (usually). It’s us who are forming expectations and then getting let down when that person isn’t who we wanted them to be. We do this to ourselves.

The same goes for situations and scenarios. We can either go into a situation with a “cannonball into the pool” attitude… or, we can stand on the edge with doubt barely dipping our toe in, thinking about all of the things that could go wrong. The more bad outcomes you create in your mind, the more likely they are to happen.

WHAT YOU FEED GROWS.

If you feed on negative thoughts all day, your fears and doubts will grow and grow. If you tell yourself loving, positive words (and the people around you) daily, the positivity and ease grows. Unfortunately, the positive aspect can be a lot harder to maintain than the negative. It’s easy to complain and vent and get down on yourself. We are the hardest on ourselves and that in turn, impacts everyone around us.

This is a habit I believe we all need to work on becoming more aware of. If there’s truly nothing wrong, then there’s no reason to doubt or be afraid. Be here and smile. Enjoy the fact that it’s this easy. It’s incredible… I think.

Yeah, understanding when things are at peace or turmoil is confusing. But letting everyone and everything around us just be, allows us to also be. We are empowered to show up exactly as we are, allowing others to do the same and in the process having fun, and living life moment by moment. Don’t create turmoil out of fear, life is too short to live like that.

What I’m trying to say is… breathe. Don’t overanalyze or create weird outcomes in your head because you’re anxious about something or feel the need to always be in control. Just worry about controlling yourself – actions and words. Make every choice a conscious one to live a beautiful life. Let yourself shine through everything that you do.

Yes, we all have bad days, or get mad or frustrated or stressed. But only you can bring yourself back to your happy place and make the world around you better, too. We have bad moments, not bad days. Let go of unrealistic or dramatic thoughts and just be authentically you.

“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and in inverse proportion to my expectations.” ~ Michael J Fox

“It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” ~ Chuck Palahniuk

So go fall in love with yourself, damn it. And have fun with like-minded positive people in the process. Let go of crazy expectations and just live, day by day

At the end of each day, I think of this song. You can have (imperfectly) perfect days. It’s all up to you <3

 

Choose happiness.

So much love,

Hailey