Know what’s true for you
Closure. New beginnings. Consistency. Growth.
I closed out 2015 by taking a three-day trip to the woods with my best friends. We laughed until we cried, embraced the beauty and solitude of nature, cooked for each other and drank the nights away. It was exactly what I needed to start 2016 with a renewed sense of “self”. I knew that with a new year starting (cheesy, I know) I was ready to allow better things to start happening.
Last year there were a lot of things I wanted to begin (and end) but never fully committed to them. I would have a solid morning routine for 2 weeks and then be late to work for the next month. Or, I would do a Whole30 and then immediately start drinking every day soon after. I’d go to church with my family once or twice and then not go back for months at a time. This kind of inconsistency just kept happening for months, or if I’m truly being honest, years. Honestly, it was driving me crazy.
When you don’t put self-care and love first, you are not allowing yourself to be fully loved by others. And ironically, for someone who preaches how she loves consistency from people, I hadn’t been the best model for what I was expecting. The same concept applies with your habits and what you want in relationships. So, some things had to change within me. I’d been pursuing all of the wrong things without really knowing it because I was resisting inevitable change. I know this lack of commitment was coming from a fear within me… a fear of letting go and moving forward with no idea of what’s to come.
You should know this process hasn’t been forceful, but a natural progression that I could feel myself gravitating toward and could no longer stop.
After unintentionally working against yourself for so long you finally (or hopefully) come to a point where you have to make a change in order to grow and become a better person. Or, at least that’s the point I’d hit. I was feeling so stuck but didn’t know where to start. I wanted a new environment, a fresh start, a new fitness routine, more meal planning, less stress, more gratitude and love, more adventure, more more more… greatness in my life. I wanted so much and didn’t know where to start or which “more” was most important to me to start working on first.
The thing is, you can’t make a to-do list of the things you want to change, check them off one by one and automatically “feel better”. Each day you must wake up with a humble heart knowing that today is all you have. Wake up a little earlier and take your time enjoying the silence. Roll around in bed relishing in the bliss of the morning light. Then get up, leave your phone alone (I know it’s hard, I’m also working on this), spend the extra time making warm lemon water and stretching. Move your body – it’s the only one you get. Feel all of the movement that you’re capable of. Do what you need to do to prepare for an awesome day, then go out in the world and make things happen. Approach life with a happy heart and be love wherever you go.
There’s no better time than right now, and there’s nothing that important you’re going to miss if you turn your phone on do not disturb for the evening. I don’t mean to sound like a cheesy, 1990’s screensaver, but it’s really not hard people. Look at the smile on a stranger’s face and let that be enough. Watch the sunset in silence and know that we are all just a tiny part of the universe. Show the people you love that you really really love them. Don’t hold back, but don’t lose yourself in the chaos of what society calls life. You have the control to make it whatever you want. Don’t worry about what people will think or how hard something will be. I promise you that if you LISTEN TO HOW YOU FEEL and trust your feelings, you can’t go wrong.
If I’m not careful I’ll swing from one extreme to the other. It doesn’t feel good in my heart and I know that now. So my advice to you is, know what’s true for you and stick to it. Your truth will change. Your heart will change. As humans, we grow, learn and evolve to hopefully become better versions of ourselves with time. Just please don’t be the person that is “the same” in 10 years. Make choices everyday that allow you to grow and contribute something to the world around you. Truly listen to your heart, and know that good things are coming.