I woke up to the smell of homemade sourdough baking in the oven. It was 9:13am and I reached for my notebook tangled in sheets and blankets.
What is it like to be 27? I’m not sure. I’ve never had this age cross my mind. 23 year old me would say, “Age doesn’t matter. I just feel alive.”
22 year old me would say, “OMG I don’t eat bread!”
But with time comes experience. More words on pages and more thoughts in my mind.
My 27th birthday has been nothing short of magical and simple.
I woke up and wrote. Just like I do every morning. But today was supposed to be different. I was going to write something profound because I am now 27. Surely.
Instead I wrote about the smell of fresh sourdough baking, the sound of the shower flowing in the bathroom, the birds chirping outside, my ovaries and fear of “getting old”. I wrote about my old friends and friends I hope to meet. I wrote about me.
“I am a woman who lays in bed most days thinking about who I am.
I’m free - to do and be whatever I please. That’s wild.
I love and care and feel so much.
I’m self published. That’s badass.
27… nothing is really coming to me. Nothing wildly insightful anyway.”
But, I was wrong this morning. My life is wildly beautiful.
Chandler and I sat here tonight wondering what life will be like in 10 years. I can’t even imagine. The past 6 months have been a dream. The past year? Insane. It’s incredible… this life I’ve been given.
As I read a new book and wrote this morning, this question came up, “What makes me different (from others)?”
I quit my job because staying was scarier.
I’m writing in bed at 10am while others are working.
Any coffee less than amazing makes me turn my nose up.
I’m not concerned with working out or sweating really.
I write a lot and it lights me up.
I’m unsure of how to make friends as an adult.
I did 10 Whole30s and now I eat bread and cheese and drink beer.
I’m not regular. I’m quite odd really.
I’m in love with flowers and birds and the sky.
The beauty of nature makes me cry.
I’m not afraid to tell my partner what’s on my mind. We actually talk.
I’m energetic and positive. And I get excited easily. It’s a lot for some. And, it’s me.
I can be bratty in my head, making up fairytale stories, but I’m grateful as ever.
I will not hustle.
I will not strive.
I refuse to force
what’s not right for me.
I will not torture myself
with the standards of others.
I have softened.
I am me.
I am only here right now.
I called my grandma as I drove home from spending the day with my mom. We caught up and she joked about being 88.
88. What?! And here I am... 27.
This life is wild. And this is all I’ve got for you this year.
No “26 lessons I’ve learned in my life.”
Just the beauty of slowing down and living. Actually, really living.
Do that. It’s incredible.