20 Minute Talks | Ep 008 with Amber Triplett (& a 7 year old)

In episode 008 of 20 Minute Talks, we get an interesting look at my friendship with Amber and our ability to talk to a 7 year old for 20 minutes while day drinking.

*apologies for yelling into the camera constantly and well… most of this episode - haha!!


You can find Amber over on Instagram @Amber_X_3

20 minute talks with Hailey and Amber.png


About 20 Minute Talks

20 Minute Talks with Hailey Heishman is a video series that highlights interesting people in an unedited, unscripted format.

Are you interesting? Want to be on the show? Email me at hailey@haileyheishman.com

Trusting Yourself and Finding Support Around You

"Jump and the net will appear"

Inspiring, right? I said it to myself millions of times when I was trying to get the courage to leave my 9-5 career last year.

But honestly, would you jump? Trusting that some magical net is going to appear below you?

Who’s holding the net?

How did it get there?

How did they know I was going to jump?

Will I burst through it and just splat into the ground?

How strong is that net anyway?

It’s lovely to think, “Jump and the net will appear”, but in reality, it’s scary as I’ll get out.

What I feel it really comes down to is, Trusting yourself and your desires AND then trusting that you are supported.

Let me give you a real-life example of this “trusting”:

I recently had an experience in a sensory deprivation float tank where I KNEW I was supported (by the salt water) and I still felt apprehensive to let go of all of the tension in my body.

Did you hear that? I KNEW I was supported and yet there was still a doubt in my mind. That’s because I must start with MYSELF, and then I can better trust my support. I thought...

Why don’t I feel supported?

What would it look like if I trusted?

These questions may have come up while floating, but they actually spill over into my daily life. To me, it's the idea of “jumping” (or maybe a better word is Trusting) and also allowing yourself to accept the support around you.

For a long time I tried to do everything on my own. Like, in my yoga practice for example - I stayed at home for years and taught myself yoga (with tons of trial and error) and had a really hard time opening up to community, feedback, and support. I kept it close, because that meant I was in control of it.

What I’ve learned is that we need to want something badly enough (trusting and acting on our desires) AND we need other people for support.

If you've been feeling this way about yoga (like you need to do it alone) fret not. I’ve created this free 5-day yoga basics training. Basically, over the course of 5 days (via email) I will send you my complete step-by-step system to help you start practicing yoga, how to understand what all of the yoga props and accessories are for, and get actionable advice on how to begin your journey. Plus, there’s a Q&A with any additional questions you have after the training.

Sign up for the training here

Not really into the yoga thing right now? No problem.

I invite you to check out this recent blog post, My first experience in a sensory deprivation tank, to read more about my experience of trusting and letting go.

And also, consider the following questions:

  • Where do I feel supported in my life?

  • Where am I lacking support?

  • In what areas do I feel constricted, fearful, untrusting?

  • What would it look like if I trusted?

If you need support, I’m here.

So much love,

H

Hailey HeishmanComment
How I Lost Weight By Quitting The Gym and Whole30

 

For years I obsessed

with body weight and workouts.

I used to wake up every morning at 5 AM

and spend two hours at the gym before work Monday through Friday

I did 10 Whole 30s over the course of four years

I completely change my eating habits

yet still nothing “happened”.

 

Through all of my hard work, I still felt “not completely me”

 

I developed irrational non-negotiables for cheese and bread

but instead ate endless amounts of Laurabars and Paleo desserts.

 

I took many progress pics over the years so I could see all of this hard work pay off.

Surely it would all be worth it once I looked “better”.

But I didn’t enjoy working out. At all.

Whole30 was making me sorta crazy.

I felt restricted. Not free.

My own choices felt hard… not easy.

 

So I stopped working out.

I quit my job and left the life I knew.

I stopped freaking out about bread and cheese and beer and beans.

I stopped obsessing over the rules of Whole30

and how many squats will lift my ass an inch higher.

 

I stopped so I could start living my life.

 

Earlier this year I stepped on the scale out of curiosity

and I saw a number I haven't seen in probably 10 years

I was kind of in disbelief so gave it a redo

Same number, same me.

I didn't feel like I'd accomplished anything, because I wasn't trying to.

 

I’ve just been living a life that feels good

And this body of mine followed suit.

 

The only change I've made is:

my relationship to myself

 

Asking:

What do I want?

How do I want to feel?

Am I full?

Do I feel the need to move? to sweat?

What do I need right now to feel good?

 

I eat in the moment now. I'm not worried about my food choices for the next 30 days, I'm just interested in now. This is my story - and only a short piece of it.

My experience is mine and we are all different, but I do believe one thing to be true for us all:

Working on relationship to self will do more for you than working out, eating Whole30, or reading any damn book.

 

What’s your relationship with yourself like?

How might you treat yourself like someone you love?

 


Life Advice from a 27 Year Old

 

I woke up to the smell of homemade sourdough baking in the oven. It was 9:13am and I reached for my notebook tangled in sheets and blankets.

 

27.

 

What is it like to be 27? I’m not sure. I’ve never had this age cross my mind. 23 year old me would say, “Age doesn’t matter. I just feel alive.”

 

22 year old me would say, “OMG I don’t eat bread!”

But with time comes experience. More words on pages and more thoughts in my mind.

My 27th birthday has been nothing short of magical and simple.

I woke up and wrote. Just like I do every morning. But today was supposed to be different. I was going to write something profound because I am now 27. Surely.

Instead I wrote about the smell of fresh sourdough baking, the sound of the shower flowing in the bathroom, the birds chirping outside, my ovaries and fear of “getting old”. I wrote about my old friends and friends I hope to meet. I wrote about me.

“I am a woman who lays in bed most days thinking about who I am.

I’m free - to do and be whatever I please. That’s wild.

I love and care and feel so much.

I’m self published. That’s badass.

27… nothing is really coming to me. Nothing wildly insightful anyway.”

But, I was wrong this morning. My life is wildly beautiful.  

Chandler and I sat here tonight wondering what life will be like in 10 years. I can’t even imagine. The past 6 months have been a dream. The past year? Insane. It’s incredible… this life I’ve been given.

As I read a new book and wrote this morning, this question came up, “What makes me different (from others)?”

I wrote:

I quit my job because staying was scarier.

I’m writing in bed at 10am while others are working.

Any coffee less than amazing makes me turn my nose up.

I’m not concerned with working out or sweating really.

I write a lot and it lights me up.

I’m unsure of how to make friends as an adult.

I did 10 Whole30s and now I eat bread and cheese and drink beer.

I’m not regular. I’m quite odd really.

I’m in love with flowers and birds and the sky.

The beauty of nature makes me cry.

I’m not afraid to tell my partner what’s on my mind. We actually talk.

I’m energetic and positive. And I get excited easily. It’s a lot for some. And, it’s me.

I can be bratty in my head, making up fairytale stories, but I’m grateful as ever.

I will not hustle.

I will not strive.

I refuse to force

what’s not right for me.

I will not torture myself

with the standards of others.

I have softened.

I am me.

I am only here right now.

 

I called my grandma as I drove home from spending the day with my mom. We caught up and she joked about being 88.

88. What?! And here I am... 27.

This life is wild. And this is all I’ve got for you this year.

No “26 lessons I’ve learned in my life.”

Just the beauty of slowing down and living. Actually, really living.

 

Do that. It’s incredible.

-H

 

Hailey HeishmanComment